Friday, April 30, 2004

Hey Barry, $2 Tickets!

Random fans among the 1,500 who attended last night's Clinton (Iowa) LumberKings game were handed urine-sample cups, and any fans who said their name was Jose Canseco, Ken Caminiti or Lyle Alzado got reduced-price tickets for just $2.

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Seeing Stars

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Groovy stuff.

Thursday, April 29, 2004

All Points Bulletin - Woman in Pink Dye Wanted

Sharon Luck was arrested on Wednesday after a pink dye pack attached to money she is suspected of stealing from a bank exploded when she took the cash to a different bank 20 miles away to open a new account.

As the Guinness guy says, Brilliant!

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Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Mr Bookman Gets His Man

A former British Royal Air Force employee has returned a history book to the Malta public library 42 years after he borrowed it and was given a cup of coffee instead of a fine.

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Did they say "cup of coffee"?

Jerry: "Would you like a cup of tea?"
Bookman: "Ya' got any coffee?"
Jerry: "Coffee?"
Bookman: "Yea coffee."
Jerry: "No I don't drink coffee."
Bookman: "No ya don't drink coffee... How 'bout instant coffee?"
Jerry: "No I don't have..."
Bookman: "You don't have any instant coffee?"
Jerry: "Well I don't normally..."
Bookman: "Who doesn't have instant coffee?"
Jerry: "I don't."
Bookman: "Ya' buy a jar of Folgers Crystals ya' put it in the cupboard and you forget about it. Then later on when you need it it's there. It lasts forever -- It's freeze dried. Freeze dried crystals."

Download the wav here

Friday, April 16, 2004

Walmart Comes to the Aid of the Absurdly Uptight

Wal-Mart will soon be carrying a new RCA DVD player for $79. It has all
the standard features you'd expect from a machine that plays DVD
movies. What the player doesn't contain will be its big selling point.

The player will employ technology from Salt Lake City-based Clearplay
to skip offensive material from the normal DVD movies you play.

Hmmmm. I think I might like this. It would edit Jim Carrey and fat chicks from films, right? Dig it.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Complete Growth Investor

Longtime coworker, friend, boss, and all around good guy from my days at the Motley Fool, Jeff Fischer, along with another Foolish standout, Tom Jacobs, have started a new website dedicated to growth investing. Visit it at www.CompleteGrowth.com.

Tom & Jeff are very sharp cats and their approach is solid. I suggest you make your wallet happy and check this out.

Friday, April 09, 2004

Intelligent TV is dying.

Wonderfalls has been laid to rest. Why? It was just too smart, entertaining, and unique. It joins the recent trend of networks bailing on anything that does not make an immediate Nielson impact.

Gone are true gems such as Push, Nevada, Firefly, and Once and Again, while mindless blather such as Two and a Half Men and King of Queens live on.

Clearly there is not a single Nielson home that has a functioning brain in its premises.

Monday, April 05, 2004

Things that deserve a permanent ban from society:

* The phrase "Big Dance."

* Any number greater than one of persons throwing out a 'First Pitch.'

* The phrase "Don't Go There."

* Anything that features, mentions, or closely resembles Jessica Simpson and Nick whatever his name is.

Opening Day

Today is Opening Day. Sort of. It's one day after Opening Night and nearly a week after Opening Japan. After playing two regular season games in Tokyo, New York and Tampa Bay came back and played a few more Spring Training games. Go figure.

But hey, it's Opening Day. Enjoy!

Friday, April 02, 2004

Wonderfalls is the best show you're not watching. This Wonderfalls, on the other hand, is not worth viewing.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

I know far too many Gregs.

Vince's Blog